We know that children’s books can act like both mirrors and windows on the world. Mirrors in that they can reflect on children’s own lives, and windows in that they can give children a chance to learn about someone else’s life. We also know that this type of self-reflection and opportunity to read or hear about different lives is essential for young people.

Research on prejudice shows that coming in contact with people who are different (so called “others”) helps to reduce stereotypes. This is because when we see people who initially seem different, we learn about them and get closer to them through their story. The “other” seems less far away and, well, less “otherly”.

But while it may be ideal for children to actually meet people from different backgrounds in person, if that isn’t possible, books can serve as a first introduction to an outside world.

Diverse books are important because they teach. They help promote respect and empathy for all types of people. They illustrate injustices. That is the power of a diverse book: You change everything for one kid, and you create empathy in 100 more.

Especially during this time when school is out, books are able to impart crucial lessons. And they have the unique ability to do so over and over (and over). .

The website Embrace Race is one of our favorite resources as we work toward anti-racism in our families. They note:

“Research from Harvard University suggests that children as young as three years old, when exposed to racism and prejudice, tend to embrace and accept it, even though they might not understand the feelings. By age 5, white children are strongly biased towards whiteness. To counter this bias, experts recommend acknowledging and naming race and racism with children as early and as often as possible. Children’s books are one of the most effective and practical tools for initiating these critical conversations; and they can also be used to model what it means to resist and dismantle oppression.

Beyond addressing issues of race and racism, this children’s reading list focuses on taking action. It highlights resistance, resilience and activism; and seeks to empower youth to participate in the ongoing movement for racial justice. These books showcase the diverse ways people of all ages and races have engaged in anti-racist activism, and highlight how race intersects with other issues, such as capitalism, class and colonization. The majority of books center activists of color, whose lives and bodies have been on the front lines of racial justice work, yet whose stories often go untold. The essential work of white activists is also included — to underscore that anti-racist work is not the responsibility of people of color; and exemplify the ways white allies have stood up against racial injustice. This list was curated by critical literacy organizations, The Conscious Kid and American Indians in Children’s Literature.”

See the list

Here are some more of our other favorites. Please, if you can, avoid going straight to Amazon to buy new books. Especially during the COVID crisis, small & local bookstores need your support. And, even though libraries are closed, many of them have apps for reading ebooks and listening to stories.

Library Apps: Libby & Hoopla

Our favorite San Francisco Local Bookstore: Blackbird Books

Marcus Books is the oldest independent Black bookstore in the country (they are creating a website for online purchases)

An incredible list of books to teach white children and teens how to undo racism and white supremacy from a bookstore in Georgia.

The New York Times created a list to get the conversation about race going early and often

Mother Magazine’s list of books that include persons of different races and ethnicities.

Many more resources for Talking about Race, Racism and Racialized Violence with Kids, compiled by the Center for Racial Justice in Education

Activities

Story Time with Mr. Limata https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC15_SZ8AWVaQDoF76zni9QA

Black Lives Matter Coloring Book printable

Sesame Street Town Hall

Through June 19, Dottir Press is offering free downloadable PDFs of their books to support families as they unlearn white supremacy

Please comment here with any other resources you’ve come across that should be added to our list. Together we can continue to do better.

GUEST POST: Parentline is an amazing resource out of The University of San Francisco. We've been lucky enough to connect with them and bring this research based information to families in the extended Recess community.

Please check out this article and learn more about everything Parentline has to offer at the bottom of the page.

Before the age of three, children develop rapidly in every area of their lives. However, the social and emotional skills needed for impulse control, understanding others’ points of views and communicating their experiences have not fully matured. This may help explain why young children sometimes express their emotions so intensely, disproportionately, or spontaneously.[1]

Frustration and temper ‘tantrums’ are often classic responses that children have to situations that are not going their way. Even with the most attuned and responsive parent, toddlers are bound to encounter overwhelming emotions such as disappointment, rage, joy, and fear that may be challenging to make sense of and express appropriately.

How can parents use these emotional experiences to teach children how to handle powerful emotions?

Set an example by staying calm. Negative feelings can be very difficult to tolerate, and the child’s reaction (for example, throwing themselves on the floor in protest at the grocery store) can trigger automatic responses of rage, impatience or even despair in the caregiver. These are valid and common feelings that often create barriers to parents responding effectively and supportively. In such moments, the first thing caregivers can do to stay calm is to take a few deep breaths. This strategy may seem too simple to work in stressful situations, but breathing is shown to have physiological benefits that translate into more positive interactions with your child. For starters, deep breathing decreases the level of adrenaline in the blood stream, which typically produces feelings of anxiety. Lowering adrenaline will help slow down the heart rate, and allow for the release of a hormone called oxytocin, which is known for making us more calm and empathic in the presence of loved ones. [2]

Wait until the tantrum is over to teach manners. Yes, it is important to teach children to delay gratification or to adjust to social norms, and an important task of parenting is to set boundaries and be consistent. But when kids are emotionally overwhelmed (too scared, mad, or sad), they will not be capable of listening to reason or rules. If caregivers breathe, count to 10 slowly, or do whatever works for them to respond to the child’s emotion (for example hug the child until she calms down), they’ll have a better chance of teaching valuable lessons after the emotional peak has subsided.

Once the outburst or tantrum is over, talk about it together. Even when toddlers have not developed their vocabulary fully, they can understand much of what adults say. Caregivers who discuss what happened and name the emotions felt by all involved (e.g. parents, child, siblings/peers) are supporting their child to identify and ultimately regulate their emotional responses. Parents can say things like: “When mommy said ‘no,’ that made you so mad“, and “When you hit me, it hurt and made me very sad.”

Parents can also provide alternatives to the child’s behavior during these moments by saying something like, “maybe next time you feel that way, you can say, ‘mommy I am so mad at you!’ and we can try to find a way to make you feel better so you don’t have to hit mommy to let her know how bad you feel.” For slightly older children, caregivers may try including them in the process to find a more productive response by saying,“next time, what else do you think you could try?”

For parents to be able to grow from these experiences, it is important for them to engage in self-reflection just as they encourage their children to do the same. You might ask yourself questions such as “How do I feel when my child is feeling angry, sad, or scared? How much am I able to tolerate feelings of frustration? Is it OK with me when my child expresses anger toward me or others?” Such questions help to identify your triggers and responses so that you too, are appropriately responding to your child in the moment and can help you be more effective when something similar happens again.

Notes:

[1] Lieberman, A. F. (1993). The emotional life of the toddler. New York, NY: Free Press.

[2] Windle, R. J., Shanks, N., Lightman, S. L., & Ingram, C. D. (1997). Central oxytocin administration reduces stress-induced corticosterone release and anxiety behavior in rats 1. Endocrinology, 138(7), 2829-2834. doi:10.1210/endo.138.7.5255

This post is written by the folks at ParentLine. Parentline is a free phone counseling service based at University of San Francisco. They recognize that parenting can be exciting and challenging, particularly from pregnancy through 3 yrs old.

Contact Parentline for free support and resources from a team that specializes in the birth to three period. They offer information on topics including: Sleeping or feeding concerns, Fussiness or tantrums, Parenting stress, Relationship conflict, Baby blues, Infant and toddler development, Pregnancy wellbeing, or Worries about the future.

Stay tuned for workshops at Recess with the professionals from Parentline, as well.

Call toll-free: 1-844- 415-BABY (2229)
E-mail: parentline@usfca.edu
Website: https://parentlineusf.com