On the verge?

Pandemic parenting is no joke. But let’s be honest…parenting anytime can be trying.

Are your kids constantly pushing your buttons? Looking for answers before you completely lose your mind?

We are thrilled to bring you this workshop led by a Neuroscientist and an infant mental health expert, from Fly Little Dragon. Here, you can learn concrete tools & simple steps to take in everyday life that will make parenting easier.

Do you want to:
Stop yelling?
Create clear limits AND follow through with them?
Stop feeling frustrated by your children?

Are your children:
Not listening to you?
Not helping out?
Acting out?
Pushing your buttons?

Join us if you could use some practical tools for easier parenting, based on neuroscience…

& use code RECESS to save 20%.  

https://flylittledragon.com/video-positive-parenting-and-neuroscience/  
***USE CODE RECESS to SAVE 20%***

Books as Teachers

We know that children’s books can act like both mirrors and windows on the world. Mirrors in that they can reflect on children’s own lives, and windows in that they can give children a chance to learn about someone else’s life. We also know that this type of self-reflection and opportunity to read or hear about different lives is essential for young people. 

Research on prejudice shows that coming in contact with people who are different (so called “others”) helps to reduce stereotypes. This is because when we see people who initially seem different, we learn about them and get closer to them through their story. The “other” seems less far away and, well, less “otherly”.

But while it may be ideal for children to actually meet people from different backgrounds in person, if that isn’t possible, books can serve as a first introduction to an outside world.

Diverse books are important because they teach. They help promote respect and empathy for all types of people.  They illustrate injustices. That is the power of a diverse book: You change everything for one kid, and you create empathy in 100 more. 

Especially during this time when school is out, books are able to impart crucial lessons. And they have the unique ability to do so over and over (and over). .

The website Embrace Race is one of our favorite resources as we work toward anti-racism in our families. They note:

“Research from Harvard University suggests that children as young as three years old, when exposed to racism and prejudice, tend to embrace and accept it, even though they might not understand the feelings. By age 5, white children are strongly biased towards whiteness. To counter this bias, experts recommend acknowledging and naming race and racism with children as early and as often as possible. Children’s books are one of the most effective and practical tools for initiating these critical conversations; and they can also be used to model what it means to resist and dismantle oppression.​

Beyond addressing issues of race and racism, this children’s reading list focuses on taking action. It highlights resistance, resilience and activism; and seeks to empower youth to participate in the ongoing movement for racial justice. These books showcase the diverse ways people of all ages and races have engaged in anti-racist activism, and highlight how race intersects with other issues, such as capitalism, class and colonization. The majority of books center activists of color, whose lives and bodies have been on the front lines of racial justice work, yet whose stories often go untold. The essential work of white activists is also included — to underscore that anti-racist work is not the responsibility of people of color; and exemplify the ways white allies have stood up against racial injustice. This list was curated by critical literacy organizations, The Conscious Kid and American Indians in Children’s Literature.”

Here are some more of our other favorites. Please, if you can, avoid going straight to Amazon to buy new books. Especially during the COVID crisis, small & local bookstores need your support. And, even though libraries are closed, many of them have apps for reading ebooks and listening to stories.

Library Apps: Libby & Hoopla

Our favorite San Francisco Local Bookstore: Blackbird Books

Marcus Books is the oldest independent Black bookstore in the country (they are creating a website for online purchases)

An incredible list of books to teach white children and teens how to undo racism and white supremacy from a bookstore in Georgia.

The New York Times created a list to get the conversation about race going early and often

Mother Magazine’s list of books that include persons of different races and ethnicities.

Many more resources for Talking about Race, Racism and Racialized Violence with Kids, compiled by the Center for Racial Justice in Education

Activities

Story Time with Mr. Limata https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC15_SZ8AWVaQDoF76zni9QA

Black Lives Matter Coloring Book printable 

Sesame Street Town Hall

Through June 19, Dottir Press is offering free downloadable PDFs of their books to support families as they unlearn white supremacy

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Please comment here with any other resources you’ve come across that should be added to our list. Together we can continue to do better.

Welcome, little one! Recess for Under 1's

The first days and months of parenthood (not to mention the nine months leading up to it all) are a crazy trip.  The highest highs and the lowest lows are balanced with the most incredible snuggles and hours on end of pure awe.  

As you find your way through the early days getting to know your little one, we invite you to venture out when you're ready, start to build your new parent community, find folks you connect with, and take in a little support where you need it. We're thrilled to be able to some unique offerings to new mamas and papas (yes, papas are welcome here, too!).  

• New Parent Groups (Mondays at 12:30)

• Free Newborn Membership - Explore the Playspace (anytime!)

• Playspace Activities (Tuesdays at 11 am & Thursdays at Noon)

• Bring your questions to our Drop-in, Moderated Playgroup in the Playspace. (Most Thursdays 11-1). Are teeth emerging? How do you engage your baby through play? What can you do to support development? Sleep??! Come on in anytime during these casual groups to get information, meet other parents, and ease into a space that has your needs in mind as well as your child's.

• Arrange meet ups with parent friends. Many of us in San Francisco don't have enough room to invite a playgroup over to our homes, and the finicky weather makes planning a day in the park a bit tricky...but Recess has plenty of space to host your next gathering. Anything from a casual, "Let's meet in the playspace around 2," to a "I'm organizing a handful of families to come together for a potluck." We have an incredible amount of space and have all the accouterments needed for infants, toddlers and preschoolers to stay happy. Most importantly, this kid space is also equipped with necessities for grown ups to feel comfortable (including, but not limited to, coffee!).

• Easing back into the working world? Check out our co-working space. We offer childcare for infants 3mo+. Members can also book appointments for drop-off childcare. This is great for the occasional break, doctor's appointment, pedicure, nap...whatever you need. Let us know if you'd like to get more info!

Is there something else you'd like to see at Recess?  Please...don't hesitate to let us know!  

Happy Fathers Day Week - The Daddy Handbook

Our Neighbor, Steven Moss, has been writing for years, most recently for the Potrero View. He recently compiled his essays on both his own childhood memories and his experiences parenting his daughter.

Set in San Francisco, where dogs famously outnumber children, The Daddy Handbook finds extraordinary meaning in ordinary - sometimes surprising - interactions between a father and daughter. The illustrated book consists of story snapshots, followed by “tips” that illuminate the tales. Funny, poignant, insightful. A great read for dads-in-waiting, fathers with stories of their own, and moms looking for a laugh.  Meet our neighbor, and local paper editor, Steven Moss through this great book.  

Pick up your copy at Recess or on Amazon!

 

Excerpt from The Daddy Handbook

By Steven J. Moss

“There’s no such thing as a Daddy Handbook,” my daughter said, squinting at me suspiciously.

“Sure, there is,” I countered. “It’s issued to every dad when they bring home their baby.”

“Show it to me, then,” she insisted.

“I can’t,” I replied, “It’s for daddies’ eyes only. I’d be breaking the daddy code if I showed it to you.”

Benjamin Moss plays with his granddaughter, Shelah Moss, 1966.

Since my daughter could talk in semi-complete sentences, I’ve been invoking the Daddy Handbook as a disciplinary tool, though I’ve never actually shown it to her, and, for all she knows, it doesn’t exist.

“Why do I have to go to bed at 7:30?”

“Because of the Daddy Handbook.”

“I don’t want to buckle my seat belt!”

“Sorry, the Daddy Handbook says you have to. If you don’t, I might lose my daddy privileges.”

Oddly, given my strong-willed and charmingly manipulative daughter, citing the handbook mostly works. She protests less, and with better humor, when I call it out. When she was little the booked tickled her desire for a higher authority, a league of daddies who had carefully thought-out responses to murky situations. It made her feel safe. As she reaches adolescence, her belief that the book is real has diminished, though it remains higher than her faith that the Tooth Fairy is anybody other than me.

It helps that I’ve used the handbook sparingly, and mostly for things that make intuitive sense to her, even if she doesn’t like the rules: sleep, safety, and hygiene. I tried employing the handbook once to get her to do her homework, but quickly abandoned the tactic when it became clear that a book she’s never seen was powerless in the face of the quite real math exercises she held in her hand.

Lately, I’ve had to dip into the book’s more creative recesses to get her attention. A few weeks ago she refused to brush her teeth before bedtime, preferring to play with a half-deflated balloon.

“You gotta brush your teeth,” I said, “it’s in the Daddy Handbook.” She ignored me. “Alright, then,” I continued, “I’ll need to call the tooth brushing guy.” I could see her ears perk up.

“What tooth brushing guy?” she asked. “There’s no tooth brushing guy.”

“Sure, there is,” I replied, “he advertises in the Daddy Handbook. You give him a call, and he’ll come over and brush your children’s teeth. He even does dogs.”

“Huh,” she said, still playing with her balloon, though with diminished intensity.

“I’ll go call him,” I said. As I walked toward the telephone in the other room a strong wind rattled the windows. “Oh, maybe he’s here already.”

“No need, no need,” said my daughter, rushing to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

“Maybe that wasn’t him after all,” I said, as I looked out the window. But by that time my daughter, her teeth freshly scrubbed, was already in bed.